“When life is lifing.” For me its the culmination of years, a re-evaluation of a shared life, and the brave choice to forge a new path. I found myself at this crossroads, facing one of the hardest decisions of my life. This is where I’ll fall back to my Military experience.
I want to share the framework that’s guiding me, hoping it might offer clarity and empowerment to others embarking on their own difficult, yet necessary, transitions.
Phase 1: Receipt of Mission – The Initial Understanding
This is the moment the mission becomes clear, even if it’s a mission you never anticipated. For me, it began with honest, open discussions during a quiet walk with the dog. In that moment, I realized where we were at in the relationship. I thought the healthiest path forward for both of us was separation. It wasn’t about blame or failure, but a shared recognition of a necessary evolution. This initial phase is about acknowledging the reality and setting the intention for what’s to come.
Phase 2: Mission Analysis – Understanding the Landscape
Once the mission is received, the detailed analysis begins. What are the specific challenges? What resources are available? What are the constraints? In the context, this meant discussing our individual needs and demands. It also involved diving into the practicalities, like researching legal requirements. This phase is about gathering information, defining the problem, and understanding the full scope of the journey ahead. It’s where you start to identify the knowns and unknowns.
Phase 3: Course of Action (COA) Development – Crafting Your Paths
With a clear understanding of the mission and the landscape, it’s time to develop potential strategies. These aren’t final decisions, but broad concepts of how you might achieve your objectives. For me, a significant part of this involved financial planning. Significant life changes can bring profound financial implications, and visualizing different outcomes is crucial.
I’ve made a financial scenario planning tool to help me see these senarios. It allows me to model various scenarios, muting different incomes, expenses, and even considering complex situations like refinancing during high interest rates.
- Use it at: www.jessesalmon.com/DFSim
It’s a powerful way to see the potential impact of different choices and I hope this tool can help others visualize their financial futures.
Phase 4: COA Analysis (Wargaming) – Testing Against Reality
This is where the rubber meets the road. Each developed course of action needs to be tested against anticipated realities. As I began to “wargame” my financial and life scenarios, the reality of the situation truly set in. Some scenarios that seemed plausible on paper became clearly inapplicable. This phase is dynamic, filled with emotional shifts. I’ve had moments of fear, anger, and even unexpected hope as the landscape constantly changed and I adapted my understanding. It’s messy, but it’s essential for refining your plans.
Phase 5: COA Comparison – Seeking Wisdom and Perspective
After analyzing each COA, it’s time for a structured comparison. This means weighing the merits and limitations of each option against established criteria. For me, this was a critical point to seek external help. I reached out to trusted friends, family, and professionals.
“Find others who are smarter than you.” Their perspectives, experiences, and insights can provide a vital sounding board, helping us see things I might have missed and solidifying my understanding of the best path forward.
Phase 6: COA Approval – The Mindful Decision
With all the analysis and comparison complete, the final decision rests with you. Before selecting a course of action, I’ve found meditation to be an incredibly powerful practice. It provides the space to:
- Trust my analysis: Confirm that I’ve done my due diligence.
- Re-focus on what I need: Ensure the decision aligns with my core values and future well-being.
- Be fully present in the decision: Make the choice with clarity and intention, not out of fear or haste.
This approval phase isn’t just about picking an option; it’s about owning the decision with peace and conviction.
Phase 7: Orders Production, Dissemination, and Transition – Taking Action
Once the COA is approved, it’s time to translate the plan into action. This means developing detailed steps, communicating them clearly, and beginning the process of implementation. For me, this is the phase where I now take action. It’s about moving forward with purpose, knowing that each step is part of a well-considered mission to build a new, healthier future.
Navigating “life” is undeniably difficult. It’s a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and ultimately, a new beginning. I hope this the tool above can provide a similar guidepost for anyone else facing their own challenging transitions.